Update? Update!

Who is the World’s Worst Blogger?

Me obviously you saw that one coming from a mile away since I haven’t added a post since June. No seriously, June. I honestly did not think that I could be that spaced as to where I don’t blog for almost 2 months. I’ve seriously needed to at times though. I’ve been writing a lot but its not the same release as complaining to a bunch (few) people that don’t know me online. Like putting my words down then just closing the cover doesn’t really do much because I still feel the same indignity I felt just not quite as strong.

So two months has gone by, I guess you can say either a lot or very little happened depending on where you’re standing and which angle you see it from. I am now 8 months pregnant, worked things out with my baby’s father, got a job of sorts, and starting soon will be volunteering until I have this baby. I don’t even know why I am trying to keep so busy. You would think with me being the size of a beached whale I’d want to sit and relax for these last 7 weeks before I push a child out of my vagina but it’s the exact opposite. I hate relaxing and there’s always at least one thing that needs to be done.

I am working on getting the last few credits I need for high school and it feels like the process for applying for this school is taking forever. I really want to get done so that I can have a part time job and start college in the winter. It seems like time is in fast forward right now and I am powerless to stop it. How many pages I’ve filled with thoughts could’ve been enough to upload a post each week but I remained flighty and unreminded so the thoughts are tucked away in journals and notebooks and somewhere a napkin.

I know I will start blogging more because part of my new job is blogging for a business so hey why not go to my blog after I update there’s so I can keep on a schedule. I really need to blog more before I lose my sanity though.

I Suck!

Yeah just like the title says I SUCK! I don't even have the excuse that I've been so busy I just have gotten a little lazy. But I am forcing a new rule on myself where I have to update at least once a week. I will set a reminder and everything. I have to post something even if it's just a picture of a kitten lol. But these past few weeks have been...interesting to say the least. As I type I'm debating if I should throw in this piece of bad news just to get it off my chest...Maybe I'll just put it out there I mean there is a potential good outcome.

So I went to the Cardiologist last Tuesday (June 3) and found out that there is a good chance that I have a condition called tachycardia. I wasn't sure what tachycardia was but I know now that it means that I have a rapid heartbeat that randomly increases from a steady normal rate of 100 bpm (resting rate) to a much higher one randomly. I thought in all honesty that these were just anxiety attacks because about two years ago I was having the same thing but would pass out and I assumed that it was stress. Now fast forward to now it turns out that I may have a heart condition. I'm hoping that it isn't too serious and I have to wear a heart monitor for three weeks after it arrives which should be any day now. My mom scared me by saying that if it's too serious there's a chance that I might not be able to deliver normally when the time cause because with this condition if not treated more carefully can lead to other heart problems and I really would rather avoid the whole heart attack at 19 business.

But that's been the main thing that's been happening with me. I turned 19 Friday btw. So another milestone reached in the world of Shawna Harris. But I felt that I needed to update and get some stuff off of my chest make my life a little lighter. But I promise I'm gonna start whipping myself into shape with this updating stuff lol. Until next time.

Quick Update_ Kinda a baby one

So today at 11 or so I finally find out what the gender of my little baby is!!! I'm so excited I don't think I can contain it. Like everyone keeps saying that I haven't been excited enough but I've been containing it until these last few days. A lot of people are even telling me I'm not even pregnant, HA! That's a good one I really wonder why people say stupid shit like that. It has actually started to kinda bother me like, WHY, why would I lie about that. Why would I be buying things for the baby, why would I post anything If I was really faking. It's ridiculous. Then in the next couple weeks when I blow up into a blimp people are gonna look mighty, mighty stupid. But I've been trying to ignore my anger at ignorance and have been focused on staying happy and positive about this little baby and getting to know what it is. Like my belly is on full flutter mode right now and I should really, really eat some breakfast but instead here I sit fully showered updating this blog. So maybe I should go sustain my life force and get some food, oh and put some clothes on. But soon, soon I will know what my little peanut is.

Almost a Month?!

Where has the time gone? With life getting in the way its almost been a month since I've posted. Luckily I finally have a laptop again and feel like I have a connection to the world again. Well that's beyond the access of a self phone. It is too difficult to blog from a phone even though I'd absolutely love to. But everything's been going good minus some small hiccups but what part of life doesn't have those. I might get to find out the gender of the baby Tuesday so that's exciting and I started back writing just to get my mind off the negative. But hopefully now that I have my computer back it won't be as hard to post because lord knows its a devil of a time to do it on the phone even though I had a couple of times. But that's all for now more another day.